Saying; “I can’t…” is debilitating. It should immediately trigger your coaching brain to highlight the fact that something is wrong. It is an oxymoron to say ‘can not’.

The power of suggestion is the backbone of the immense industry called advertising. Billions is spend to influence you. It is done so subtly that you will not even know it. However we still buy Coca-cola and eat at McDonald’s more than anything else in those markets. Why? Because we are told to… in a subtle way that is subconscious.

I’m sure this is not surprising to you.

However, equally subtle, is our own advertising slogan: “I can’t” which quietly undermines our lives.

So often we hear the McDonald’s jingle that we don’t realise we’ve heard it, but also, things that you say off-the-cuff like: “I hate…”, or; “I can’t”, has an impact on us. It changes us.

A feeling that says impossible is devastating to our confidence.

Swimmers, unknowingly, predict their future. Off-the-cuff statements like ‘I can’t’ blocks our ability to visualise. Sometimes those statements are said audibly (rather than just to ourselves) and it is critical to hear it and immediately block that idea by bringing it to their attention:

“Did I just hear you say “I can’t…”?

‘Can’t’ is an expression of an idea. If we are going to do something, and it is difficult because we’ve never done it, the idea ‘can’t’ expresses that fear. The fear of the unknown. However it also says more.

If something is difficult then the outcome is uncertain. One possible outcome is we may not get the task done perfectly. It is a big part of our socialisation that a non-perfect outcome is failure. Failure, we are told from a young age, is not acceptable. This is debilitating. Very debilitating!

Learning is accomplished by trials of greater and greater degrees of adeptness. The first trials will be mostly inept. However that is not failure. Not trying is the only true failure.

A person saying can’t predicts something is going to be impossible. That is wrong. A difficult task is just something we currently have not learned. Learning has a number of steps and the first step must be an acceptance that we will not be perfect on our first attempt and that subsequent attempts will teach us how.

If your mind is blocked by the idea of ‘impossible’, then the skill acquisition process it will not start. So saying can’t essentially successfully predicts failure. It predicts that you will not try and allows you to succeed… at failing:

I can not.

It is an oxymoron. It is more accurate to say will not. An oxymoron is a word derived from the Greek words; oxu (pointedly) + moros (foolish).

“I told you I could not do it!” …May be a sentence you’ve heard before. And it is true.

Advertisers exploit our subconscious mind with impunity and we do this to ourselves too. We say we can’t so that we successfully fail. The act of trying is never perfect but puts us on the path to learning. The thought “can’t” stops learning. It really says; I will not try. That is the only failure.